welcome to hell cold reads
(aka pitch reviews)

What the fk is a 'Cold Read'??

Oh, hi there! A cold-read is a bit like a ‘reaction video’ but for a startup’s pitch deck. All too often founders send pitch decks to potential investors to either never hear back, or get the dreaded “sorry, this is too early – not a fit” in return. 


A cold read is when an experienced & impartial investor reviews a deck they’ve never seen before and speaks out loud – to camera – everything they *think* when they see a deck, but never ever tell you. It’s so damn useful.

Oh, and it’s entertaining as heck.

⬇ Watch these puppies ⬇

Want a cold read of your own?

They take considerable effort & time to create. So they ain’t free. But if you’re a cheapskate, I’ll do it for a fiver – so long as you let me feature an edited version on my blog/LinkedIn. 

See below for prices & how it works, chum.


I believe in you
£ 4
99 /deck
  • Full length unedited cold-read sent directly to your inbox
  • A shortened edited cold-read throw up on LinkedIn & Youtube*
  • All the good feels you're helping others make great pitch decks
  • The video stops when an investor would most likely ditch your deck
  • 72 Hour Turnaround

Secret Squirrel

So you have something to hide, eh?
£ 49
99 /deck
  • Full length unedited cold-read sent directly to your inbox
  • Privately hosted YouTube version for you to share if you dare
  • I'll go to the end of your deck instead of stopping when an investor would normally stop*
  • 48 Hour Turnaround

Real Founder

Stop spending equity. Spend your investor's* money instead! That's what it's for.
£ 199
99 /session
  • Full length unedited cold-read sent directly to your inbox
  • Privately hosted YouTube version for you to share if you dare
  • I'll go to the end of your deck instead of stopping when an investor would normally stop
  • A follow up 40-min workshop/session to perfect the story and/or deck
  • Be added to my 'look book' of opportunities regularly shared with my investor syndicates**
  • 24 Hour Turnaround

you charge for this?

yeah, i do. It took me 15 years and many failed attempts to get this good. Count yourself lucky, pal!

but I have advisers!

Good! Make sure they’re doing real work then. Because if they’re not, you’ve just blown your kids inheritence

is it worth it?

of course it is. ever sent a shit deck to a great investor, but never heard back? of course you have. don’t blow your chance for the sake of a few quid


A cold-read is where I film myself reviewing your pitch deck and speak out loud everything I believe a good investor would *think* but never tell you about your pitch deck.

From bitter personal experience, too many pitch decks you send to investors rarely get a reply. Or if they do, it’s the ‘too early’ or ‘not a fit’ response. Being able to see what the investor was likely thinking at that moment can save you firing off your social capital unnecessarily

I have been doing cold-reads for about a decade. However they were exclusively for my students at MIT and the teams I mentored at Techstars and The Rattle. Only recently have I dared doing it in public, and it’s become a pretty astonishing success

Tut. Well, no one is technically ‘qualified’. However, having raised a lot of capital over the last 15 years and having invested a fair number of times, I have a sneaky sense for how VCs and Angel Investors operate. Not only that, I have spent over a decade calibrating my opinions against the world’s best investors – including Chris Dixon, Brad Feld, Sherry Coutu, and many other super mega famous investors. 

Every 14 days I refresh a collection of 5-10 pitch decks I have gathered over the previous few months that I believe are worthy of some top-tier investor attention. These investors trust me to provide excellent opportunities and I incentivise myself by having an option to invest alongside them, if they choose to participate in your round.

Well, let’s hope so. But also from bitter experience, many advisers aren’t worth their weight in self-congratulatory LinkedIn posts. If your adviser has *personally* raised a lot of capital, and recently, then fair – use them, not me. 

First, I do you a cold-read. I then send you a link to book time with me at your convenience. Prior to your session, it would be helpful to review an updated pitch deck. And during the session I will attempt to help you make edits and tweaks that speak more clearly to your target investors.

I will create a roughly 5-minute video that highlights the key founder-based learnings from your specific cold-read. It is intended to be entertaining, educating, and respectful to the founders who sent it to me

I will *always* redact financial performance and redact intending spending. I will also use my judgement to redact anything I believe would be commercially sensitive. If I have any doubts, I will check with you first

Equity is a powerful motivator for long-term team, advisers, and investors. Cold-reading is meant to be short, sharp, and direct. Equity just isn’t an appropriate currency for this type of product. Soz. 


Don’t be. You’re gonna love it.